Polygamy in Islam

In Islam, let's approach the subject of polygamy with current examples. We frequently observe people cheating on their spouses, leading to the dissolution of marriages in our surroundings. Looking at it from the perspective of men; we are aware of those who, despite being married, engage in relationships with other women. Whether these women are their secretaries or someone from their social circle, they step into these relationships in various ways. We have even heard about these men fathering children with these women. It is well-known that some men openly admit to having relationships with countless women; some do not even know how many children they have. Following temporary or short-term relationships, women often struggle to survive with their children, facing life’s challenges. At times, one might wonder, what fault do these innocent children bear?

Nowadays, certain behaviors have become so normalized that, through social media and television, we adopt a lifestyle unknowingly and become inclined to try it out. The level of indecency we see today has reached extreme dimensions. Men, no longer satisfied with their spouses, constantly seek new adventures. This raises the question: Is someone trying to undermine the structure of the family?

People who turn a blind eye to a man being with countless women in modern life often use polygamy as a tool to tarnish the image of Islam. But how well do we really know Islam? Have you ever read the Quran and reflected upon it?  

When Islam began spreading across the Arabian Peninsula, the influences of the pre-Islamic era were still potent. Islam eradicated some of these practices completely, while moderating others. One such practice was the ability of men to marry an unlimited number of women. Before Islam, men in the Arabian Peninsula could marry as many women as they wished, a practice observable in many parts of the world, especially in Medieval Europe.

The Quran introduced a definitive limitation to the pre-Islamic practice of unlimited marriages. This limitation allowed men to marry up to four women but with a condition: justice. The words of Allah are as follows:

"And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice]." (Nisa 4:3).

This is a clear indication that Islam did not initiate polygamy but imposed a limit on an already existing practice. For instance, a companion named Ghilan was married to ten women when he embraced Islam and divorced those in excess of four.

Although Islam permits polygamy, it fundamentally advocates for monogamy. Polygamy is only permissible under "moral and social necessities," and even in these cases, justice among wives is mandated. However, as indicated in Nisa 4:129, achieving emotional equality among wives may not always be possible:

"And you will never be able to be equal [in feeling] between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. So do not incline completely [toward one] and leave another hanging. And if you amend [your affairs] and fear Allah – then indeed, Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful." (An-Nisa 4:129)  

These verses clarify Islam's stance on polygamy while acknowledging the challenges in achieving perfect justice among wives.

If a man decides to embark on the path of polygamy, he must consider its significant responsibility and, instead of engaging with countless women, causing suffering and sinning, he should take into account the rights of the women he marries and the potential children, ensuring he acts justly towards them.  

In this context, I would like to share an observation from my travels: In Arab countries where polygamy is legal, among the hundreds of people I met, only one had two marriages. However, during my travels in Europe, two out of every three men I met were involved in illegitimate relationships.

What about the emotional hurt of a woman whose husband has married multiple times? In this beautiful religion, even the smallest pain is a means of atonement for sins. Surely, Allah will reward those who patiently endure for His sake. After all, every person is born alone, dies alone, and will be held accountable alone. Only Allah knows the beauty of the rewards for that accountability.

In conclusion, as the years pass by like months and weeks like days, we are in a test in this world, and our primary goal is to earn the divine pleasure of Allah and aim for heaven.